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Greetings to all, I am born and bred of NW Indiana. I am the Senior Pastor of Berean Fellowship Baptist Church of Gary, IN. Thank you for visiting and reading my blog. By the way, clicking the ads will help support this blog. Thanks. Peace and Blessings.

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Are parents failing children in today's culture?

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Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Boxer's Mistakes a Lesson to Us All


Charles “Duke” Tanner, a boxing sensation from Gary, IN recently received a life sentence for his conviction as a drug dealer. It pains me to write those words about another young black man, with a bright and unlimited future, who will likely spend the rest of his life in prison.

Many of us bristle at the fact that so many young black men and women end up behind bars for a good portion of their lives. By last count, there were over one million black men in jail in America. Regardless of how we feel about crime and punishment, or our political distinctions; we cannot in our right minds deny the affect this has on a people, families and communities. If you are reading this, then perhaps you care about this phenomenon enough to pause and consider the millions of children whose biological fathers will rear them because he is in jail for at least their childhood. Perhaps you will consider the millions of women who loved these men, believed in them and now face single-parenthood and the struggles attached to it as a way of life. Furthermore, maybe you will think of the millions of grandparents, having reared their own children, now faced with the unenviable task of spending their golden years rearing teenagers, because their children made poor choices.

Do these dire circumstances occur among other ethnicities? They certainly do. However, in my experience, the black community is the least equipped to recover from circumstances like these. Do you wish to know why? The reasons are many, but one sure cause is the retreat from value-based living over the last few generations within the black community. We used to be a people with values passed from one generation to the next, but now it seems that the conversation of “how we got over” ceases to exist.

When I read about circumstances like that of Mr. Tanner, I think of the times I could and should have been more direct with my own children concerning the values that prepare them for successful living. I know I could have spoken more of faith, truth, integrity and the like. It is a blessing that my children love God, in spite of my failure.

Yet, I do not write to justify or condemn my lapses, but to call attention to our collective failure to communicate successful living strategy to our children. As a Christian, I commit that the Bible contains the word of God, truth as it were.

The Scripture says, “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it”. This is the mandate for parents, to teach our children how to live. With the number of our kids in jail, before we can blame to mysterious system, we must confront and blame ourselves. These babies belong to us, and it is up to us to equip them for positive contribution to society. Abdication of this responsibility is the chief cause of our prisons overrunning with our children. Take authority as a parent, it is your job.

We must learn from Mr. Tanner and others like him, or we face certain ruin as a people. We can raise a child right, or raise a scourge; it is up to us.

3 comments:

Digital Publius said...

Thank you for this brother Dix, I couldn't help bur think of my own children as I read your brilliant piece. The answer is indeed found in Biblical truth, as a society we have legislated God out of the public square, choosing instead to lean on the wisdom of man. Too many adherents to the philosophies of Dr. Spock and the like and too little to the creator of children Himself. And we wonder why our children are killing each other wholesale on the streets and in abortion mills. Only a return to the precepts of the Lord Jesus Christ can stem the tide moral collapse across not only our community but the American community at large.

I am always blessed when I visit your blog!

With the Love of Christ,
Hassan

Jennifer White said...

I agree and as a monther of two. I find myself repeatedly trying to find ways to help me be the parent that raises her children right. I also think some youth ministery could really help parents and children come together. Even family workshops and such. We have to reach out to our youth. Our future depends on it!

Col. B. Bunny said...

>> the black community is the least equipped to recover from circumstances like these. <<

Your post is essentially correct but I think the above deflects attention from the deeper reality, which is that the pathologies that result in black incarceration rates and family destruction are overwhelmingly associated with the black underclass. It's also true that these pathologies affect ability to recover from their consequences but I think you do not aid understanding if you try to argue that whites and Hispanics, say, have the same problems and the same problem with crime and incarceration.

I found this article by Kay S. Hymowitz persuasive.

Mr. Tanner might have had a bright future as a boxer but it was not bright and unlimited. Boxers are used up quickly and they exist in a competitive and tough sport. That he chose to become a drug dealer as well, however, made his future dark and limited indeed. He and the black community began to suffer from that point on, long before it became a question of how the black community could recover from his incarceration.

God bless anyone seeking to instill values in the young. I hope the affected black communities will begin to teach values that totally reject the gangsta culture.

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